Why do I feel this way? I don't know
by The.Asphyxiated.Affair
Summary: So those kind of people do have feelings? when one of the mew mew's ask this and kisshu hears, he expresses the pain and torment he gets from Ichigo as well as joy.His only wish is for ichigo to say at least once she cares. KishXIchigo


**HAZZAH!!!! I edited and rewrote this year old story! Since it doesn't have as many reviews as the my other stories I decided to fix it up! Hope you enjoy it!**

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To **gain** something you want in this world,

you must give up something else that has **equal** value.

So if I **give up **Ichigo then will I be able to save my people,

or to get Ichigo must I **give up **on my people?

People on earth are peculiar,

even though they call us unusual.

_" So those _**kind **_of people do have _**feelings**_?"_

I can't recall which mew mew had said it but now the human race has taken it up to another level of stupidity! **Feelings** !? What the hell did they know about feelings? Everything has feelings. But what would they now, so were different then them but how does that difference results to us not having feelings. Ichigo, she doesn't know it but every kick, every punch and every word she say's tears me apart slowly. Slowly I feel my sanity slipping out of the cracks in my heart and I fear none will be left.

Yes, it is as if I try to kill her sometimes but I secretly I am **grateful** to the blue night for stopping me, I should forget about her and save my people but I always feel like I'm someone when I'm around her and yet I feel like I'm nothing. I hate yet love this feeling. It's like a drug, I'm addicted to it no matter how much it kills me, no matter how much I am slowly ebbing away.

Every time I confess that I love her and act like a compete idiot that's all she sees,

a complete idiot.

and that's how she treats me as,

a complete idiot.

When I attacked Aoyama to have her she could tell I was **willing **to do **anything** to get her but she told me she couldn't come with me and I was **taken aback** at how **adequately** she had said it. For some reason it felt good to not be scolded at from her , I had thought that she didn't hate me any more, and by thinking that it proved I was exactly what she saw,

a complete idiot.

Why? Because she went back to **praising** and **hugging** her Aoyama-Kun and acting as if nothing had happened and I wasn't there a couple of feet in front of her. I mean was 5 feet that far? Though now as I think it was probably intentional. I wish she would just disappear, I wish she would just fall of a cliff and die taking her precious Aoyama-Kun with her!

No, I don't and never will wish that. I couldn't bear to lose her and if she ever did died, I would make sure Aoyama **wouldn't** go with her! Should I apologize to her? No, what's the point? All she does is **daydream **of Aoyama! The words I speak would probably hit the ground, missing her deluded ears. Can she at least try to be understanding ! I don't envy Aoyama... as much as I envy Taruto. The yellow mew,... Purin was it? Purin love's the midget and all he does is push the feelings away, doing something he'll later regret.

Maybe, When I'm back, I'll find some one better. I doubt I'll find any one who gives me a more pleasant feeling than Ichigo does. Maybe some one who will give me a wonderful feeling with out the painful one. A lover who will ignore the difference. Some one who'll be broken when I cry, who'll love and trust me enough to fix the break. Some one who wont pretend I'm not there, hurting with needles piercing my heart. Some astonishing person who will let me hold them, and them hold me back. Maybe it's a fleeting dream, an experience so sweet it's delicate feature can only be lived when sleeping and only in a land where there are enjoyment's referred to as dreams. But if the world love's me more than I think it doesn't, My dream will open slowly like petals on a carmine rose blooming open leisurely into something radiant, until it's nothing but real.

I know some one will come, though I just can't help wishing it would have been you Ichigo. It's ok, because all I want most is for you to tell me you care for me, at least as a friend, just once. So Ichigo I'll give up my happiness for you to be **happy** and **hopefully** just one time before I go you'll say you truly **care**. 

Ok I wrote this like a year ago when I was watching a music video and in one of the clips one of the mew mew's said ' so those kind of people do have feelings' and I sort of got ticked off cause that's really unfair and mean to say. Anyways for sure I'm going to post a new chapter to Melody Mew Mews tonight and I think it's a pretty funny chapter. I'm also going to post a story about when Kish and Ichigo marry and have a kid that is a mew mew, so if you want to read it, it will be up this week. Please review and if you guys want I'll continue this. 


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